Jokes under TV > Antiques
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During Antiques Roadshow today, I looked at the 19th century mahogany chest of drawers in the corner of my living room and thought: "Maybe that's where the fucking remote is." |
 
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A black guy goes on the antiques roadshow with a very rare vase. Hugh Scully asks, "How did you acquire the vase?" The black guy says, "It was handed down to me." Hugh Scully, "Where from?" The black guy replies, "An upstairs window." |
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I took a painting I found in my loft to the Antiques Roadshow. The expert inspected it and said... "You have heard of Vincent Van Gogh, haven't you?" "Yes I have," I said excitedly. "He wouldn't have wiped his arse with this cheap shite." |
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I went to a recording of the Antiques Roadshow with my nan. She's only worth a hundred pounds as one of her hips isn't the original. |
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I took two stuffed dogs I had onto the Antiques Roadshow. "Ooh," Said the presenter, "This is a very rare breed, do you have any idea what they'd fetch if they were alive?" "Sticks?" I replied. |
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At the end of Bargain Hunt, the presenter says, "Think you can do better? Well come on, what's stopping you?" Two things really: dignity and self respect. |
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I went to a car boot the other day. I found an old, brown, bent leathery tool..... Turned out to be David Dickinson. |
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Apparently coprophiliac's get sexually aroused by shit. They must be horny as fuck when antiques Roadshow is on TV. |
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Joke
by jnwwfc1 in Sex and shit - Coprophilia (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 18.4
| So they say Jesus was a carpenter... but you never see any of his pieces on the Antiques Roadshow. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Religion - Jesus (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 16.4
| Just finished watching the 'Antiques Roadshow', or 'Tomorrows World' as its known in Uttoxeter |
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Joke
by fwog in TV - Action/Adventure (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 15.6
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