Jokes under Illness and mortality > Skin
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I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I'll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer. |
 
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Joke
by jibjab in In The News - Missing Persons (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,629.8
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My wife has eczema all over her chest. She's got a cracking pair of tits. |
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Joke
by Fyffes in Illness and mortality - Skin - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,050.4
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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip. |
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I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, "I've been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?" The nurse replied, "Whereabout's is it?" I said, "I don't know, it could be fucking miles away by now." |
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Joke
by MICK THE MAG in Illness and mortality - Skin (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 204
| My wife's birth control pills also prevent acne. Ironically, when I was a teenager, acne was my form of birth control. |
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Joke
by Baldlice in Sex and shit - Contraception (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 188
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Why did the leper get kicked out of the army? He kept going into battle unarmed. |
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Joke
by superhorse in Illness and mortality - Skin - Added: 5 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 186
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A Leper goes into a bar on one of the hottest days of the year. A lot of people have their shirts off due to the heat so the Leper takes off his shirt too and goes to the bar and orders a pint. As he takes a sip, he looks at a guy on a stool next to him who is glancing in his direction. Suddenly the guy throws up all over the bar. The Leper feels insulted and says,"Excuse me!"
"Sorry," the guy says,"It's not your fault." The Leper gets even more insult [...] |
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Joke
by Killing Joke in Illness and mortality - Skin - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 178.4
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What's green and melts in your mouth? A leper's cock! |
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I'm a bit of a practical joker. My wife started panicking when she accidentally set the chip pan on fire. "Help me! It's fucking burning! What will I do?!" she screamed. "Quick! Pour this jug of water on it!" I replied. I think she saw the funny side. I bet, underneath those bandages, there's that cheeky little grin that I once fell in love with. |
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Joke
by fistheadx36 in Illness and mortality - Burns (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 155.4
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How do you know when a leper has sent you mail? His tongue is still on the stamp. |
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Joke
by poosmellsyucky in Illness and mortality - Skin - Added: 5 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 151
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