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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Haemorrhoids

1220877
My doctor accused me of sour grapes.

I don't think he should have been checking my haemorrhoids with his tongue. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by emptyhead in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 97.2


126763
I'm a great public speaker. I always get a standing ovation at the Haemorrhoid's Society. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by nabmohs1 in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 29.4




210359
My piles were killing me so I thought I'd check them out using a mirror.

Maybe I should have waited until the lift was empty. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by illegalnature in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 29.2


164812
Tender love - two faggots with haemorrhoids. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Crippitycrap in Sex and shit - Gay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 16.2


173071
A man walks into a library and asks if they have any books on haemorrhoids.

The librarian says ''yeah, loads, mate, take as many as you want. We've got piles of them blocking up the back passage.'' 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Fiddlerboy in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 15


180864
If I could find a cure for haemorrhoids, I'd make piles. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Baldlice in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 14.2


58350
For years, I have been plagued by what I presumed were terrible hemorrhoids - agony going for a shit, blood loss when wiping my arse, strange bulges in my anus; accompanied by incredible pain when walking normally - so I finally went to the doctor to ask for advice.

He advised me that if the wife offers the ultimatum of 'load the dishwasher, or I'll shove a pineapple up your arse when you are asleep' then I should load the dishwasher... 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ruishanko in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 14


889744
Last night my wife said she fancied a spot of tea bagging.

It was when she squatted over me that I knew I had to pluck up the courage to tell her to get her haemorrhoids looked at.. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Odin in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 11


866584
I'm so excited about getting my Parkinsons check-up tomorrow...

I just can't sit still 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by johnrod in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 10.8


404683
When the doctor said I might have haemorrhoids, I was bloody shitting myself. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by mrfishfingers in Illness and mortality - Haemorrhoids - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 10.6



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