Jokes under Illness and mortality > Obesity
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch." |
 
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Joke
submitted by stu71, originally by Jimmy Carr in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 5 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 4,949.4
| Your mum's so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought EastEnders was ending. |
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Joke
by Kierz in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,910.4
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After queueing up for almost half an hour in the chemist last week, I finally got to the counter and the woman looked at me and said, "I'm really sorry about your wait." In a rattled state, I replied, "You're not so fucking skinny yourself, actually." |
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Joke
by mayfield4 in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,778.4
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I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night. "You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said. "Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye. "Salad tastes nice." |
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Joke
by The crossbow cannibal in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,470
| Why is it that pubs won't serve me if I'm drunk but McDonald's continue serving the fat fuckers? It's hardly fair. |
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Joke
by grumpy_old_man in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,439.4
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There was a local family, whose daughter was frankly very overweight and unattractive. I remember one day her mum came into school and spoke during assembly, explaining that her daughter could no longer stand the bullying and had hanged herself the night before. The whole school was in shocked silence, then one lad shouted out, "fucking hell, it must have been a strong rope." |
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Joke
submitted by twayne, originally by 4chan in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,368
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I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I'm a maneater!
I went up to her and said "Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan." She stopped me and angrily said "Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I've eaten?! Well I can't help my size you know!" I said "Actually no, I wasn't going to say that at all." She looked happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you want t [...] |
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Joke
by Spandexbob in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,348.8
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I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.
She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely. "What the fuck is that pathetic little thing?" she demanded. "How the hell do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?" [...] |
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Joke
by ray piste in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,343.4
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I find all these obese jokes horrible. Don't you think they have enough on their plate? |
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Joke
by AS in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,295.8
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I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so I went over. "Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked. "Oh yes, definitely," she giggled. "Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,290
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